My First Thirty Years

In the words of Tim McGraw, “I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age. The ending of an era, and the turning of a page. Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here. Lord, have mercy on my next 30 years.” 

Now, in the more accurate words of Joey Tribbiani, “Why God?! Why?! We had a deal. Let the others grow old. Not me!” 

It’s been a wild ride through these first thirty years of life. I want to go through my first thirty years with you. The good, the bad, the fun, the boring. Everything that’s made me who I am today. So, my fellow region rats (and my readers who are honorary rats), strap in for a wild (not really, but long) post. 

I still haven’t decided how I’m going to write this post. Am I going to go all the way back to my childhood and start listing off memories? Skipping past some, detailing others? Or, do I want to make a big list of everything that’s happened and then go back and write a detailed paragraph about those experiences. Meh, that sounds like too much work. Let’s just let my thoughts flow throughout this post and see what happens. Many things have happened throughout my first thirty years. Some good, some bad, some really good, some really bad. Overall, I think the good experiences outweigh the bad ones. Anyways, let’s start:

Thirty years ago a star was born. His name? Justin Bieber. I was also born 30 years ago and I can’t believe how fast time has flown by. It seems like just yesterday my friends and I were riding our bikes around town causing “trouble”. Mainly just goofing off and making each other laugh. Or we were hanging out at someone’s house, rounding up all the boys and starting a huge World Cup tournament in the front yard. Those days feel like a lifetime ago. Those days were filled with so much fun and love and friendship. You never realize how much you lose when you grow up. The love and friendship is still there and always will be, but the fun we had when we were that young seems to disappear the second everyone goes their own way once high school ends. 

There is just something so different about fun when you’re a kid and fun when you’re an adult. You see things differently (hopefully, otherwise you might not have grown as much as you think!), and when you look back to your childhood, you might not think all those things you did are fun anymore. But that’s okay. That’s what growing up is, isn’t it? Anyways, my childhood in the region was incredible. One thing I will always remember from those days is our annual Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl game. 

Every year when we were younger, my friends and I (along with our families) would start the holiday off by going to one of our friends homes. The parents would stay inside in the warmth and chat, while all of us boys were out in the cold wearing our poorly made team jerseys for the most important football game of the year. We would square up against each other in the vacant lot next to my friends house, decide how the games going to start, then go at each other like wild animals. I’m just kidding about that last part. There was never any bad blood between any of us, and if someone accidentally got hurt we would obviously stop the game to make sure they were okay. But boys are…well, boys. We played rough with each other and that’s what made it so much fun. 

Staying on the topic of childhood sports, I wanted to reminisce about two more things really quick. The first being my church basketball team, and the second being my high school soccer team. Church basketball was one of the most fun experiences I had as a kid. If you listened to my first podcast interview, you can hear us talking more about it there (shameless plug). You wouldn’t think a church basketball league could be so competitive lol, but it was! It was also a pretty big league. We had Greek churches from the region (there were only three so we combined forces if necessary), as well as tons and tons from the Chicago – land area in Illinois. 

My team was never any good. We could have been, and I will stand by that for the rest of my life. I believe if we had actually tried and gained that chemistry, we could have been a really good team for many years. We had so much talent and athleticism it’s disappointing we didn’t do much with it. Nonetheless, it was a really great time and we made so many memories. Next, I wanted to go back to those high school soccer days. Now those were great times. We had a really good team all four years I was there. Don’t mistake that last sentence as me saying “we only had a really good team all four years because of me” because that’s not true at all lol. I wasn’t horrible, but I didn’t make the team great all by myself. It all goes back to chemistry, and our team had tons of it. Most of us played on a travel team together prior to high school, so we knew exactly how to make it work on the field.

There were many good times with that team, and some lousy ones, but overall it was such a great experience for me. Whether I was riding the bench or getting to play in high – stakes games, being on that team really helped me grow a little bit. It also made me laugh a lot. I have stories to tell about those days but most are probably inappropriate for this blog. However, I can’t just say I have stories to tell and not tell any, so here is a brief summary of some of the appropriate stories that still make me laugh today: 

• Most of the team pitched in a few bucks each to watch one of our teammates eat a bug
• My friend and I were on the bench the whole game so we started a fake radio station commentating on the game (that is until coach noticed, gave a strange look, and then put one of us in lol)
• My other friend showing up late to the first practice of senior year shirtless with his shirt wrapped around his head like a bandana, and coach immediately screaming “NO! NO! We’re not doing this” while pointing for him to go back to the locker room and change lol. They had a one -way love – hate relationship. Coach loved him but sometimes couldn’t stand him. If you had been dealing with shenanigans like that for four years you would have reacted the same way!

The list could go on and on but I need to move on. I told you this would be a long post. I warned you! But you just didn’t listen (and I appreciate that. Thank you for still reading).

Besides playing on the soccer team, I really enjoyed high school. I enjoyed the friends I made, I enjoyed most of my teachers, I loved hanging out in my friends’ basement and being with them all the time. It was really awesome. Those were good days, but I’m glad they are over. I can’t imagine being stuck in high school forever lol. With that being said, it’s time to move on to my college years. The memories are fresher, and a lot happened in those years that helped me grow into the man I am today. 

It started the in the fall of 2012. My friend and I went to the same university and shared a dorm freshman year. It was a lot of fun. I know people say rooming with your friends isn’t a good idea because you’ll be sick of each other by the end of it and won’t be friends anymore, but that’s not the case with us. I think it was because we had a really good balance. At first, we had the same group of friends and were with each other all the time. Then, I got recruited by a fraternity, and he was there to join the track team, so both of us joining our own organizations and meeting new people really helped us a lot when it came to remaining friends. I’m glad it worked out that way. 

After freshman year we parted ways and rarely saw each other. But when we did it was like nothing changed, and all these years later he is still one of my best friends. He was in my wedding and we still hang out from time to time (it’s harder now that I am a parent, but we make it work!). 

Joining a fraternity was one of my better decisions in my college years. I made more lifelong friends and they are some of the best people I know. Living with them throughout the years was so much fun, as you could imagine. Whether it was throwing parties wherever we were living, playing pranks on each other, or just sitting there playing video games, we had a blast. I didn’t want to mention going out to the bars because that is just an obvious part of having fun in college lol. 

Joining this fraternity gave me a few more best friends and I couldn’t be more grateful. However, it also gave me the bestest (?) friend of all: my wife! That’s right. That’s how Lea and I met – in college. She was from the area, and so were many of my pledge brothers (guys who pledged/joined at the same time as me). We were introduced by two of my pledge brothers who went to high school with her, and the rest is history. We quickly became good friends, then best friends. A year into our friendship we fell in love, and now we are married and have our own family. Life comes at you fast. 

I remember when we first started dating we didn’t want to tell any of our friends because it was so new, we didn’t want to make the friend group weird if we broke up. Thankfully, we didn’t (except that one time for 14 hours and it was resolved by buying her a bag of starburst jellybeans). You know, it is believed there are moments throughout one’s life, on the timeline, that are never changing. It can’t be tampered with, it must happen in order for you to learn and grow. Meeting Lea is one of those things on my timeline. She has taught me and helped me grow so much in the last ten years that I don’t even have the words to say how much I appreciate her and love her. Words wouldn’t do it justice. She’s my best friend, my love, my wife, and a incredible mother. 

Okay, now that I bought myself some brownie points, let’s back track a little bit into my college years because I have a few more things to talk about! I may have mentioned this in another post a long time ago, but my last summer in college I stayed in town for an internship with the local police department. I signed up late and was assigned (by a very annoyed police officer) to a rotation with the detectives. It was an incredible experience and one I will never, ever forget. I saw things. Some good, some bad. None happy and most sad. I guess this is a poem now. 

The things I saw and the lessons I learned were so valuable that I still carry some with me today. They taught me to think differently when looking at things. They changed how I see the world, and I’m thankful for that. It’s not as nice as I thought it was back then. Not everything is so black and white (which is also a lesson Lea has been chirping in my ear over the years). It was a unique experience and I am so thankful I was able to ride along with them. 

That summer I also had a job at the fireworks store in town. That was something I was used to. I worked at a different fireworks store for three summers back home. It was a fun job, and I made decent money for a college kid. I didn’t really make new friends at this job, and that’s okay. Some were locals, others were in high school or college and just needed some money (like me). The firework season went by fast, and soon it was time for my last semester of college. Thankfully, I completed all my classes/credits for my major, so for my last semester I could take almost all physical education classes and be done with school for the day by noon or one lol. Taking mostly gym classes for a semester was…tiring. But it was fun! I remember that semester fondly. Three days a week I’d wake up and go to martial arts class, then a regular gym class where we played soccer, then another one that I can’t remember. Anyways, you get the point, it was fun!

Graduation day crept up on us in 2016. It was a scary and sad feeling, yet there were also feelings of excitement and relief. Relief that I did it. I graduated college (and I did it without spilling out everything I drank from the night before and ruining everyone’s graduation ceremony). Excitement for something new and starting a life as an actual adult. It was time to enter the real world, and man, oh man did it slap me in the face. Months and months went by as I sat in my old room at my parents’ house applying to jobs. Rejection after rejection. Question for any hiring managers out there: why do entry level openings have 5-10 years of experience as a qualification? That doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever. 

Anyways, I applied to many places. Being a criminal justice major I thought I wanted to be a federal agent or a police officer. I applied to the United States Secret Service, United States Border Patrol, and numerous police departments in Indiana. I didn’t make the cut for any of them. I was down on myself at the time, but thankfully God had other plans. I eventually got the job I have now and my seven – year anniversary is coming up this fall! It’s still within what I studied so that’s good I guess. Looking back I wish I realized how much I enjoyed writing. I could have studied English, or journalism, or communications – anything along those lines. But that’s okay, I believe I did what I was supposed to do to help me get to where I am today. That sounds like a confusing line. It reminds me of that Michael Scott quote from The Office when he is asked how he runs his branch so well: “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going or…or where you’ve been, ever. For any reason whatsoever.”

Backtracking a little bit (again…before I got my current job). I wanted to touch on these events because they are important to my story. They played a key part in my first thirty years and helped me grow in ways I never imagined. I was twenty – two when I graduated college, and my brother was eighteen. He went to the same university as me and joined the same fraternity. And with Lea’s family being in the same town it was easy to go and see him whenever I went to see Lea (since she had one semester of school left). I was visiting for a few days when we got the news our grandfather had passed away. It was a sad thing to wake up to, but he had been sick for a while at that point. 

So me and my brother drove home for the services. It was a nice car ride and it was a lot of fun. It was nice catching up with him. I wish it lasted longer because I didn’t think it would be one of the last times I saw him. Two weeks later my brother passed away while down at school. There was a freak accident and I don’t want to get into it, but it took its toll on all of us. Lots of people (who had no clue what they were talking about) instantly blamed the fraternity. They blamed the guys I knew and loved like it was so easy, like everything was their fault. They were wrong and I stand by that still today. It sucks losing your grandpa and your brother, especially back – to – back like that. I don’t really know what else to say about it, I haven’t been too good at expressing my feelings when discussing that time, so let’s just leave it as it is. I love and miss both of them. 

Lea was my rock during that horrible period of time. She came up and stayed with us and was an angel. Since we were just dating we weren’t allowed to sleep in the same room (parents rules), so I slept on the couch in the living room, and gave her my room. Except she knew exactly what I needed and she came and slept on the ground next to the couch I was on and held my hand because I couldn’t sleep. That’s when I knew I was going to marry her. I mean, I knew when we started dating, but that was when the deal was sealed. How can you not marry someone like that? Who is there for you and cares about you so much that they drive three hours to sleep on the floor for a week. She’s the best. Also, I guess the realization that life is way too short sunk in, and played a role in my decisions at the time. If you want something, and you know it’s going to happen eventually, why not just go for it? Right? Make it last longer than it would if you had waited around. The way I see it, there is no point to put off the inevitable. I was going to propose to Lea eventually so it might as well have been when we were twenty – two lol. 

After these two tragic events, Lea and I moved in to our first apartment together in the region. It was a decent place, and we were there for about a year I believe. There’s not much else to say about it lol, it was just a normal apartment and with us starting our jobs we didn’t really do much while we were there.

After we got engaged, Lea and I bought our first condo. It was a nice little place on the second floor of this complex. We updated it a little bit and made it our home for a couple of years. It was such a great place to live, I really miss our condo. We had a lot of big life events while living there. First, and I’ve touched on this before so I won’t spend too much time on it, was my neurosurgery for my hemifacial spasm. That was rough, but being able to recover in my own home, in that little condo with a random vaulted ceiling and my fiancé helping me get stronger every day was a blessing. 

Second, while living there we became husband and wife. Our marriage started in that condo and that is a big reason why it holds such a special place in my heart. Probably Lea’s too, but who am I to say lol. In this condo is also where I created The Region Life (you know, the blog you’re reading this on right now. That is, if you’ve made it this far. If you have please know how grateful I am!). One day something just clicked and I realized I really loved to write, but I never got into writing fiction, I figured out I enjoyed writing about my interests, my life, and learning about other people. Those around me in this little area of Indiana. I don’t know why but it’s always interested me that every random stranger I pass on the street has a whole life story. 

Anyways, I started this blog and you all know how that is going now lol. After living in our condo for a couple years we decided we wanted to expand our family, but before we did that we wanted to have an actual house. Our own piece of land. So, that’s what we did. We moved to this pretty little lake town and built our house that we are living in today. It was a rough start when we moved in. Owning your own home is a lot of work, but we’ve managed somehow. While our home was being built we lived with my parents for almost a year. It was a blessing because we got to spend more time with my dad, who sadly passed away about a year after we moved into our new home. I’m glad he got to see it though, I can tell he was proud of us. Most recently, we lost my other grandfather. He was also very sick for a long time, and I know he, and all of our other family members, are doing so much better now. Love and miss them.

Alright, the sad parts of this story are over. Actually, I think this story of my first thirty years is also over. Wow. Well, I’m glad you got a quick summary of my life lol. As I grow older, I feel like Nick Miller from the show New Girl. Like I’ve always been this old man and every year is one step closer to actually becoming one:

To close, let’s finish this thing off where we began – with the ending of My Next Thirty Years by Time McGraw. “My next 30 years will be the best years of my life. Raise a little family and hang out with my wife. Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear. Make up for lost time here, in my next 30 years.” 

Here’s to my next thirty years. May it be filled with more love, happiness, and success. Gosh I wish those we lost were here to see how things have turned out for me. I hope they’re proud. 

Again, thank you so much for reading all of this. I’m sure I trailed off topic at some points, but I really do appreciate you reading this whole thing. One day I’ll write about other experiences in more detail, but I hope you enjoyed learning some things about my first thiry years of life. I hope you all have a great day!

Peter

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