Goodbye, my friend

Today I said goodbye to one of my oldest and best friends. He was the best man at my wedding and has been a great friend since kindergarten. He’s okay, I know how my intro made that sound. He’s alive and well. He is just moving to a new city with his new job and starting fresh with a new life. 

Selfishly, I hate to see him leave, but I am also so happy to see him go. I’m really excited for him. I know he’s going to do great out there and will meet lots of new people. It’s not like I won’t ever see him again. He’s not that far. But it’s still a drive, you know? I’ll bet he’s reading this, or he will in a day or two when he’s gone, so I just wanted to say one last thing: good luck and HAVE FUN! You’re going to do great. We’ll see you in a little over a month for Baby O’s first birthday.

It stinks to see people you care about leave. Many of my friends that I grew up with in the region have moved away and never looked back. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the region. This is my home, but sometimes I feel “stuck” here (for lack of a better word) and I feel like I failed myself for not getting out there and seeing this big world. 

Sometimes I feel like George Bailey from It’s A Wonderful Life. He wanted to see the world, but ends up staying in his home town due to a death of a family member. I’m not blaming anyone or any event for “making me stay” here. It was my choice to stay after my brother passed away. I knew, and still know, it was the right thing to do. Not only for me, but for my parents. We all needed each other. It was a really rough time.

I’m not disappointed with my decisions and I don’t hate being here. I love it here, actually, but sometimes this is just how I feel. I wonder what it would be like if we had moved after we graduated college. We were actually looking in Chicago and Indianapolis, but things worked out differently. For years I wondered why things happened the way they did regarding where we are going to live, and now it’s obvious why we stayed put in the region – for our sweet baby O. If we weren’t here, we wouldn’t have been around to adopt him. Our angel baby. 

So, yes, I’ve seen many friends come and go. I’ve seen them all start new lives in a different city or state, and I’ve wondered what our lives would be like if we had moved out of northwest Indiana. However, whenever I am feeling this way, I just look around and see my wife and our son. I think about everyone we have around us – family, friends (that are still here), and all the relationships we’ve made. And I remember what Clarence the angel wrote to George Bailey at the end of that incredible movie: “No man is a failure who has friends.” 

Just because I never moved away does not make me a failure, and it takes me a while to remember that some times. Yes, some people have things that I don’t have. Better jobs, a cool house/apartment, a new life in a new state, but that doesn’t mean that I have failed. There are multiple ways to be successful. Truthfully, if we had moved I think I’d be less successful than I am now. I wouldn’t have any family or friends around, and isn’t that what it’s all about?

I heard an old song from Kenny Chesney recently and it made me realize I have it all. It’s called Wife and Kids. He sings about being rich, famous, and traveling the world. He sings about how blessed he is, but he then opens his heart and tell us what he really longs for: a wife a kids. A family of his own. Children to come home to. This man has all the money and fame in the world, yet he longs for what I already have.

What I have is priceless, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I am exactly where I am meant to be. 

Peter

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