Finding yourself

Yesterday while I was on the train making my way into Chicago, a random thought popped into my mind. It wasn’t a strange thought, but it was a thought that I wanted to explore more. So, throughout the day I wrote down my thoughts and organized them in order to make this post. The thought that came into my head yesterday was this: In my short, twenty – nine – year life, I’ve lived so many lives (and you have too). 

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’re probably thinking “Oh, he’s talking about time travel, or the multiverse and past lives again.” Nope. That is not at all what I’m talking about today lol. Today I am being “normal” (whatever that is). What I mean by all of this is, in my twenty – nine years of life, I’ve been so many different versions of myself. Over the course of my life I’ve had many different interests, hobbies, attitudes, beliefs, etc. Different “lives”, for lack of a better term. As we grow and go through life we are always trying to find ourselves. We want to understand who we are, and we wonder about why we are here. What is our purpose? It’s a common question we all ask ourselves at least once throughout our lives. 

As we go through life, we transform from person to person each and every day. One day we’re a certain way and the next day we can be completely different. It’s very strange if you think about it. To help this all make sense, let me take you through my life and show you what I mean by all of this. Let’s start at the beginning and work our way up to present day.

Child, son &brother

When I was born, and for many years after, I was a child. Today, I am still a son and a brother, but I am different than I was back then. I’m not a child anymore (no matter what my wife says). As a child I didn’t have many responsibilities. All I had to do was go to school, do my homework, and hang out with my brother and our family. That version of me still exists somewhere in time. When I was a kid I remember coming home from school and turning on the PlayStation 2 and/or GameCube with my brother and we would play for hours. No cares, no worries. Just hanging out in the moment. What I wouldn’t give to have the innocence of a child again. Who was I going to become? An athlete? A superhero?! A secret agent?So many dreams.

Athlete

This version was one of my favorites. I loved playing sports, and I wasn’t that bad either. Whether it was soccer or basketball, I was a pretty athletic teenager. I was on the high school soccer team all four years and made memories that will last a lifetime. I also played basketball in our church league. It was more competitive than it sounds! Our team wasn’t very good. We would get blown out a lot lol but that made it more fun because by halftime there was no point to care anymore so we just went out there and made the most of it. Being an athlete growing up was one of the highlights of my teenage years. I believe in some ways it helped shape me into who I am today. Could I be a college and/or professional athlete? I think every kid who plays a sport thinks about the possibilities.

Frat Boy

Ah, the frat boy era. Now that was a fun time. I look back on this version of myself fondly. My time as a frat star was one of the most fun periods of my life. At Indiana State, fraternity life wasn’t the stereotypical “frat” you read about in the news or watch in the movies. It was a lot cooler and nicer. There was no hazing (at least in my fraternity. I don’t know about the others). Yes, you got an earful every now and then from some of the older guys, but it was all in good fun, and they were only words. This version of me was care free, but also ambitious. Being in a fraternity really helped me come out of my shell and take on leadership roles within the organizations I was a part of. This version of me taught me how to speak up and how to be a leader in whatever I do in life. It also helped me realize that I never want to drink that much alcohol ever again. The frat boy version of Peter is long gone, but I will always remember him because he taught me so much. What was I going to do with my life? It’s a pretty common thought while you’re in college. Was I going to be a leader in my personal and professional life? I had no clue!

Political phase

Oh boy this was a rough one. I do not like looking back at this time in my life. I was six months out of college and my brother had just passed away. I didn’t realize it then, but I was just looking for something to bury my head in to forget about the pain I was feeling. Unfortunately, the first thing that caught my attention was the political world. I dug myself deep into it, and probably said some things I shouldn’t have said. But that’s life. You live and you learn. I don’t want to talk about this version of myself much because I’m a little embarrassed by it, but I will say this: Politics is a cancer. It will ruin many things, and if I learned anything from this version of myself it’s that nobody’s opinion is going to change. Doesn’t matter what you do or say, people have beliefs and they stick with them no matter what – and that’s okay. This political version of me is one I dislike very much. However, like the frat boy who had a little too much fun, the political phase of my life is over with. This version is gone. I locked him up and I have no intention of letting him out again. I truly had no interest or desire to enter politics, so at least I knew this wasn’t who I was going to be lol.

Business man

The “business man” version of me is one I am still working on. Entering the corporate world at twenty – two years old was a huge change for me. I had to learn how to speak professionally, how to dress professionally (although our dress code has become more relaxed in the last six years), and how to make a name for myself at this company. This version of myself is still figuring himself out. Who am I going to be in my professional life? Over the years I’ve taken every opportunity at work that has come my way, and I truly have created a great situation for myself at this company. I am really proud of this Peter. He has grown so much! Time will tell who he becomes and what his purpose is professionally. 

Blogger & writer

This version of myself is easily my second favorite “life” I’ve been living. Writing and blogging has become such a passionate hobby of mine, I love it so much. There are so many questions that still need answers. Like the “business man” version, the writer and blogger Peter is still figuring himself out. What am I going to accomplish? Where am I going with all of this? What is my purpose as a writer and blogger? These questions will be answered in time. For now I’m just going to enjoy the ride. 

Father

This version is my all – time favorite (if it wasn’t obvious). Like the previous two “lives”, I’m still figuring this version of myself out. Each day I learn something new. Being a father is the greatest privilege of my life! I don’t have too much to say about this version of me, it’s relatively new, and I don’t want this post to drag on lol, but I will say this: Throughout my whole life I’ve wondered what I’m meant to be and what my purpose on this planet is. Through all these different versions of myself I’ve thought about what I’m going to do with my life. Who I’m going to be and where I’m going to end up. Now, with the newest version of myself, I am confident when I say I was meant to become a father. My son was meant for me (and Lea, but we’re not talking about her right now. It’s my blog!). I was meant to raise him and to teach him. We were meant for each other, and I can’t wait to see where this “life” takes us. 

In life it may take a while to truly figure out who you are or what your purpose is (as you can see above). My unwarranted advice is to be patient and know that in time, you will figure it all out. So just enjoy the ride. It’s okay to ask questions, like I have throughout my life, but don’t get upset when you can’t figure out the answers right away. It takes time. Look at me…I questioned what I was meant to be in every “life” I’ve lived and I didn’t get answer until I was pushing thirty (ugh. There’s my daily reminder I’m getting old). You’ll figure it out, don’t beat yourself up, and enjoy your “lives”!

I hope you enjoyed this post. I always enjoy writing down my deep thoughts and this time I wanted to share them with you all. If you liked it please share and subscribe!

Peter

Social Media: Twitter, Instagram, YouTube